Since my buddy ArmchairTalkingHead has the pics uploaded (including one of me destroying a poor IHOP in Douglasville, GA), here’s the text version of the trip to Hotlanta, GA yesterday.
After eating lunch at the awesome Santa Fe Cattle Company in Gadsden, we left former Hamilton Aggie quarterback Justin Palmer, along with former Aggie and Bevill-Fayette basketball star Adam Cranford and the Talking Head. We got to Turner Field at around 5:00 pm EST, which, of course, meant we had 2 hours to sweat our balls off in the heat of the deep South. After getting tickets (7 rows above the wall in right field for $11), we headed for the gift shop, where all Mark Teixiera merchandise was marked 50% off. Of course, this still meant the shirt would cost nearly $30, and would be useful as a dishrag (or, perhaps in 2027, a possible “throwback.”). After taking our seats, annoying maraca guy sat in front of us, waving the damn thing like a baby using a rattle during a church service. Finally, he left, but rather than getting some leg room, 3 guys who are approximately the size of myself and the TalkingHead combined (and anyone who sees the pic knows how huge we are) sat right in front of us. They loved “Frenchy” (but not as much as the girls above us who screamed “WE LOVE YOU, JAY-EFF” before every friggin’ pitch), got annoyed with Cranford when he said he hoped Mark Kotsay would hit a 3-run homer in the 8th that would have tied the game, and generally were annoying. Luckily, me and the TalkingHead (me wearing a Twins hat, him a Cards hat) got out of Atlanta unscathed (but slightly lighter in the wallet, what with the TalkingHead getting a citation for being a “party pooper” and “too handsome” and me giving up $10 for a Braves hat-that I never got-to the greater Cobb County “Meals on Wheels” program).
The fun part after the game was at the IHOP in Douglasville, Georgia, where I (after eating very little after lunch) had decided to eat a pancake and egg breakfast (Loco Rule #1: If you go to a restaurant that is famous for something, i.e. International House of Pancakes, you MUST eat the signature item your first time there). However, my friends did not realize that years of Russellville High eating habits had caused me to eat at a Kobayashian pace. After finishing 3 eggs, 3 pancakes, and 2 sausage patties in roughly 3 minutes, I received a standing O and a startled look from a waitress who clearly had not seen a good ol’ fat Alabama boy eat like that in some time. I did, however, take the time to lick the plate clean…
A fun night, sure to be remembered by all those there, and the poor waitress at IHOP who probably will have nightmares forever about the fatty in the Rochester Red Wings (Twins fan, represent!) t-shirt.